Love…actually!

It’s been an adventure of trial and error and learning through pain and heart-break with my personal experiences in relationships. I have often wondered  is there an easier way to find true love? And If love is something so fundamentally important to us, then why is it that we have so many issues and misunderstandings in the area of finding it?

I think the answer is simple, that most of us have never been educated on this or do not have clarity on what we TRULY want. The virtue of sacrifice and guilt of valuing ourselves eventually creates confusions and unhappiness… I discovered that once I started to truly love myself, focussing on my own inner peace and wellness (means when we prioritise our passions,purpose and our true self) then we are functioning from far more attractive place, and will more likely find mate who will honour us rather than getting us in a confused, lost, loss of self respect and zero confidence state.

Well, even though that perfect person we are looking for may not exist, the journey of self-exploration is an exercise to know ourselves and our deep values.  So let’s look into what we really want in a partner? Get clarity into details like physical attributes, values, lifestyle, financial views, spiritual beliefs, personality traits, hobbies, abilities, age, habits, profession, tastes, etc. We should also know what kind of person will honour our very being, will acknowledge us and fulfil our realistic expectations, while fitting in one common frame.

Deep down, we are all really good people. But this doesn’t mean that any combination of two good people will make a good partnership. We should focus on the celebration of love and partnership rather than focussing on our insecurities and ego games. At times, even when we realize that our relationship isn’t a good fit, we just stay in it for logical reasons or convenience. Or we may be afraid to be alone, so we simply settle by the default. Each time we are reminded of the bad fit, we brush it under the rug and distract ourselves with some other thought. We think that finding someone to love is more important than anything else but we may be wrong! Also we should consider that we may not actually need all of these qualities in a partner to be extraordinarily happy.

So this whole fancy portrait of being in love, essentially should begin with empowering and loving our own selves. Instead of “falling in love” let’s “grow in love”. Let us strive to find a person who will enhance our being and vice a versa so that we live happily with clarity and inner integrity. And let us focus on being self-sufficient and desirable in our own ways. Here’s the thing for Valentines this year, start the quest by becoming a rightful partner, instead of looking for a perfect partner!

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43 thoughts on “Love…actually!

  1. Hi Manisha,

    Saw ur post about tea and as a young Nepali tea company looking for a break in the US, we thought we would reach out to you and send us some of our amazing samples. We have gotten some good reviews from awesome food bloggers and would love for u try some.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Beautifully expressed, if you are not in love with yourself you wont be able to love others!and the quest to find the perfect partner should be aborted are we really perfect ourselves?If we accept our partners with all their follies and foibles ,only then love would ensue in the real sense of the word!

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  3. Beautifully expressed, its so true that one should abort the attempt of finding the perfect partner ..are we really perfect ourselves?We should accept our partners despite their follies and foibles and not attempt to change them….love would then ensue….love in the real sense of the word!

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  4. I hope your love life should be like the one in the movie ‘Dil Se’ without the sad ending. You and SRK are amazing together. Both of your expressions look much similar. I can’t guess whether you both act almost perfectly in the movie or you actually love each other. Hope to see you together in the future.

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  5. every person opens a door to a different world. To indulge in a successful relationship we generally look for intelligence and judgment and, most critically, a capacity to anticipate, to see around corners. Where we forget to look at the attributes of a person are the loyalty, integrity, a high energy drive, a balanced ego and the drive to get things done. And to judge these qualities you outta know yourself first so self realization as you have pointed out helps one to make sound choices and not settle on compromises. You have said it very rightly. irony is our IQ on relationship is often borne out of experience and our initial stubbornness to look outside the box…The ripple effect is awesome but it only comes when you are able to clearly see your own reflection and that comes from the sheer experience….Your topics on blog are really praiseworthy. I have never thought you could be so beautiful from your inner soul. keep blogging, Manisha as always.

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  6. Yay, finally somebody spoke my heart out. You connect so well to the readers. You are so true about the “rightful partner”.

    There are tons of things to learn from you. Keep sharing. 🙂

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    1. growth will always enhance when we are in synch with our life’s purpose!and the partner we choose will help us in our path!!whenever we are not in synch it is telling us something,we got to listen!!

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  7. Very nicely expressed about love ..ma’am… Ego n insecurity, blaming n irrespective can not be part of true love…sacrifice ,happiness, care ,respect,faith,acceptance ,love ,understand can be part of only true love…happy Valentine day my soulmate love …lol ma’am…. Regards sneha

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  8. Hi Manisha… I feel you have hit the nail with “The virtue of sacrifice and guilt of valuing ourselves eventually creates confusions and unhappiness…”. This is so true !! I completely agree that empowering yourself attracts that perfect person who loves and supports you and in such relations nothing feels like a sacrifice and you automatically value yourself.

    I loved this piece 🙂 Looking forward to reading more !

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  9. can i get a reply from you mann maam?! happy valentines day. i loved the blog so much & very connecting to me because i really mean it from bottom of my heart, mind & soul. stay happy, keep smiling. love & respect a lot!

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  10. Self love is fine so long it doesn’t sink to narcissism.othetwise it is the foundation starting point.problem is getting stuck there.Love is the inherent language of every soul.it is Rumi’s poetry.I see it when I look in to the eyes of my Lab.So trusting ,pure and innocent. look at Nature and u understand.Us homosapiens have to long way to go to reach that .

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