What should one do, when you have too many dreams and goals, but neither the time or the physical capacity to see it through? That’s how I feel at times, overwhelmed !! I’m sure its pretty common with most of us, especially those who are on the crossroads where one life chapter gets over and before you start another, there is a struggle to get clarity. It gets confusing, does it not ?
At this stage in my life, I still feel like the same 16 year old, on the precipice of cinema… with big dreams, shy, nervous, unsure, slightly lost and slightly alone. (Even though there was ample of advisors and mentors, no was saying “that this route and for sure you will succeed,” Notice how we all love to give advice, yet we feel clueless in our own challenging times.)
That time, it was the dream of being an acclaimed actress, but in this second phase of life, I have so many more goals to accomplish.. directing films, starting wellness programs, pushing more awareness for cancer patients, even opening shelters for the poorer patients, I definitely want to write a book too, and all the while living between Mumbai, Goa, Kathmandu and NYC… aaaahhh !!
Right now I’m in Thailand to be a Bikram Yoga Teacher… as you all know wellness is my passion and an integral part of wellness is Yoga and so here I am. There are days where I feel I have taken on too much… Bikram Yoga twice a day, 90 mins each session in 105 fahrenheit temperature trying to perfect the 26 postures and all this amongst experienced practitioners !!! Everybody here is well toned and so balanced… and I know I have a long long way to go and yet I have to be mindful if I’m overloading myself. I have to keep watch on my harmony between body, mind, soul….
And so just like my 16 year old self… I struggle, I have anxiety, I shed a couple of tears, and I have my inhibitions… what if I’m not good enough? Have I done the right thing? Again slightly lost and slightly confused… This is when I remember people who have converted adversity into opportunity, meeting these people, learning about their human spirit, acts like my own personal fuel !!! Such people never give up, they aren’t confined to being too old to change or too scared to try some thing different and new…
So, Just like before, this chapter too is new and this new road is tough and its dark out there… but despite the fears, the tears.. one must walk.. walk.. walk.. with faith.. trusting the process!!